It is Saturday. I slept in, and lazed around, and that is fine, but I seriously feel like I am running out of time to get ready for baby. Problem is I don't know what else to do to GET ready! Yes, working on finishing up the basement is all well and good, but there is no way in my current extraordinarily HUGE state that I am going to be hanging sheet rock or working with the chop saw! My birth kit is ready to roll (with the exception of the stuff that my sweet midwife is bringing.)

I could probably do housework, but I do that all the time. Laundry needs to be done, wether I want to or not. I feel so helpless. I just want to "know" that I am ready for this baby (who I am currently begging to vacate the premises). How exactly does one prepare to go from Mommy of 1 to Mommy of 2? Mommy of 2 sounds like an actual grow up person, that knows where they are headed and can handle diaper changes, playdates, a household, and then some. I have watched many MANY children in the last ten years, but I have to say this is the most intimidating child care job EVER! I love Kati. She is my sunshine, and I adore being her Mommy. I love Baby Boy too, even though I haven't met him yet. I am just not sure how I am going to fit being Kati's Mommy with being Baby Boys Mommy without letting some other things slide.

This might stem from my rather unexceptional need to be SUPERMOMMY. Lots of moms feel this pressure, and I am sure what I am feeling is normal, but the problem with this, is that I HATE SuperMommy. She and I (in whatever form she takes) do NOT get along. Other SuperMommies drive me CRAZY, and I try very hard not to be her with Kati. SuperMommy is a somewhat difficult person to deal with, and she always feels that she has to be better, more put together, more able, than any human could possibly be. Being the realist that I am, I realize that she is more of a Fictional Character, than a truly embodied person. I just wish that I could shoot her and be done with it. I swear she has more lives than a cat! Just when I think I am getting over being her, she shows back up in another way, with another face (or maybe just a different diaper bag.)

I think I am going to go lay down for a while, and do my best to avoid dreaming of to do lists. Maybe I can just do a load of laundry and satisfy SuperMommy for today....